her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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