We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
