I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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