I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
