is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
