this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
