I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
