I cockslap morals
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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