It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
