he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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