She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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