So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize