god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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