i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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