i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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