I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
