My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
