so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
