So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
