glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can I color on your dick again?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
