did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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