so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
