What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
