ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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