Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
