i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize