Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
