go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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