In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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