I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize