dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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