I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
