i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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