In the future we'll all be gay
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
