First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
