Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
this is an emotional support booty call
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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