i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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