just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
