Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
