I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
