Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
