he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
