So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
do herpes really smell.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
