What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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