coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
