i permit you to call me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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