Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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