Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
