we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
