hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
