absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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