On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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