I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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