these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
