i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
