we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
and you fell through a lawn chair
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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