just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
