Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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