I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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