Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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