Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
