I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
