I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
