I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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