It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
being pregnant is like rehab
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
