dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
