I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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